Recently, I have been having these huge issues with people not getting my name correctly. For one people don't read, so they make themselves look silly. My name does not have an A in it, therefore it is not Randy, despite the fact that you think it seems to make more sense. My name is in fact Rendy, and while in the past I have debated using my middle name so that people would stop butchering my "yes it is on my birth certificate", and "yeah my mom really named me that" and "its really not that great of a story how I got my name" name. But I am Rendy. The name is part of my identity, it seems to embody part of my spirit somehow. Now, for some of you that seems weird, but when you have a name like mine, it takes a different feeling to it.
Last night, while in my Research Methods class I had a revelation of insight into my own life. Now, my professor, Dr. Limke, would probably be slightly surprised to hear that, as she is not a clinician as she reminds us frequently and last night she even shared her difficulty with empathy through a story. Nonetheless, a random in class assignment spurred me to have an aha (sp) moments of sorts.
My personal vent about my name for the last month has not been about my name, but about me, as a person. Okay so now you're confused, but let me explain it to you. I tend to think of myself in roles: the student, the Preventionist, the Youth minister's wife, daughter, sister, etc. Of course it often feels like the hardest of these is the youth minister's wife. And then it hit me last night, I love being the youth minister's wife (I love my husband dearly, and feel called to him and believe in his calling to ministry, in which I feel called to serve along side him). The part that I don't love is when other people forget to see me as Rendy first and the youth minister's wife second. I am a person, I too have my own job (in which I work 40 hrs/week as one of my 7th grade girls discovered last weekend, I do not get paid for the time I put in at the church, none of our volunteers do. Nonetheless, they often see me every time they see Mike (except @ school lunches) so it was quite surprising to her that I just spend time with them in my spare time). I have a personality (one that I would call quirky); I have opinions, large ones in fact even if you don't hear them it doesn't mean they are not there, simply that I realize I should not always share them; I have family; I have burdens, emotions and feelings. In short... I AM A PERSON. I am Rendy. And sometimes, just sometimes I get lost in other peoples idea of who I am.
I love all of the roles that I fill (although I will be excited for May 2011 when I can cross student off the list). But apart from the roles I just want to be me. I want people to see me for who I am: the good, the bad and the ugly. I want people to know that sometimes my humor can be off-color, that I love to laugh and when I find something really funny I laugh REALLY loud and sometimes start to squeak b/c I can't get enough air. I want people to see me, not the roles that I fill. See beyond the titles and ideas, see the person. I am Rendy.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Summit Camps
Summit Camps has made a lasting impression on my life. As an early teenager I truly experienced God and the love he has for me for the first time at Summit Camps in the summer of 2000. It was that summer, on August 1, 2000 that I have my life to Jesus Christ. While I am well aware that God can move in multiple places, He used Summit to not only introduce me to my Savior, but also as a place I was later discipled.
Starting the summer between my sophomore and junior year of High School I began to staff for Summit Camps. It was there that I learned much more about serving others and God's heart for his people. During the hottest southeastern OK sun, I realized that pointing others to the Son was more important to me. And that it was not always a glamorous thing: there's not much praise to be seen for the person who fills up the water jugs, but it's something that needs to be done in order to serve my brothers and sisters in Christ.
It was also at Summit Camps where I met some of my most influential mentors, who have become friends of mine now that I have entered into adulthood. These people have guided me, loved me, given me advice when I would not or could not speak to my own family. I was comforted and encouraged in the hard times. They have celebrated my marriage to a wonderful man of God with me, they have taught me lessons that only those who have walked with God for years often know. They have prayed over me, encouraged me as I try to minister to hurting world of students, and have been so unsure of how to do. These are my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Summit Camps is celebrating its 20 year this summer! I am so thankful for my opportunity to be involved in such a wonderful place for the 8 years. Now, as a Summit Camps Director I have been allowed to grow, stumble and watch the Lord move in amazing ways from an adult perspective at Summit.
If you have made it this far in my blog I want to ask you to do a few things.
1. Pray for Summit Camps: pray for our mission to bring students to a relationship with Christ and to see His will for their life revealed to them.
2.Pray for our new camp grounds that we are attempting to build. The Lord has given us a wonderful vision of the great things he would like Summit to continue to do through Him.
3.If Summit Camp has touched you in some way whether as an adult or a student attending any of our multiple events (summer camp, Fall retreat, marriage conferences, the Called Conference, etc) please let us at Summit Camps know, we would love to share your story with others. (http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PG=Contact&RecordType=&pkg=)
4. Pray about giving to our mission to bring students, families and individuals to know Christ.
For more information on Summit Camps go to www.summitcamps.com
To read our purpose go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=35640
To read our vision statement go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=45372
Starting the summer between my sophomore and junior year of High School I began to staff for Summit Camps. It was there that I learned much more about serving others and God's heart for his people. During the hottest southeastern OK sun, I realized that pointing others to the Son was more important to me. And that it was not always a glamorous thing: there's not much praise to be seen for the person who fills up the water jugs, but it's something that needs to be done in order to serve my brothers and sisters in Christ.
It was also at Summit Camps where I met some of my most influential mentors, who have become friends of mine now that I have entered into adulthood. These people have guided me, loved me, given me advice when I would not or could not speak to my own family. I was comforted and encouraged in the hard times. They have celebrated my marriage to a wonderful man of God with me, they have taught me lessons that only those who have walked with God for years often know. They have prayed over me, encouraged me as I try to minister to hurting world of students, and have been so unsure of how to do. These are my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Summit Camps is celebrating its 20 year this summer! I am so thankful for my opportunity to be involved in such a wonderful place for the 8 years. Now, as a Summit Camps Director I have been allowed to grow, stumble and watch the Lord move in amazing ways from an adult perspective at Summit.
If you have made it this far in my blog I want to ask you to do a few things.
1. Pray for Summit Camps: pray for our mission to bring students to a relationship with Christ and to see His will for their life revealed to them.
2.Pray for our new camp grounds that we are attempting to build. The Lord has given us a wonderful vision of the great things he would like Summit to continue to do through Him.
3.If Summit Camp has touched you in some way whether as an adult or a student attending any of our multiple events (summer camp, Fall retreat, marriage conferences, the Called Conference, etc) please let us at Summit Camps know, we would love to share your story with others. (http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PG=Contact&RecordType=&pkg=)
4. Pray about giving to our mission to bring students, families and individuals to know Christ.
For more information on Summit Camps go to www.summitcamps.com
To read our purpose go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=35640
To read our vision statement go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=45372
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Am I Washed by the Blood or Just Washed in the Water?
I don't understand why I see so many "Christians" living lives that do not show the honor, power and glory of Jesus Christ. I put Christians in quotations because I would say that there are many people who profess Jesus as Savior but he is not their Lord. They do not have a personal relationship with him. As a new Kenny Chesney song puts it, "Am I washed in the blood or just washed in the water". This is the only conclusion that makes any sense whatsoever to me.
Why do I see so many Christians living defeated lives? Do we not serve the God who conquered the grave? Scriptures tell us that as Christians we are given the Holy Spirit (which is the seal of our salvation) and that we can do the impossible. We can do miracles because we have God living inside of us! Is that not amazing? (I hope that somewhat excites you, because it makes me overjoyed).
And yet even I am guilty of feeling exactly the way so many of us live, defeated. When I feel that way, the most important thing for me to do is to look at my life. Am I spending time with my Saviour? Am I listening to what he has to say? Am I praying for continued growth?
I desire to be broken over the sin in my life. I yearn to get rid of all the junk so that I can have more of Christ. I long to know my saviour and Lord more intimately every day. And in my opinion this is what is wrong with "Christians". The life lived has no substance. We are happy not sharing Christ with those around us. How can I tell the students I work with the need to share Jesus with their friends and those they're around if I myself am not doing it.
Lately, a burden that has been placed on my heart is the lack of conviction, remorse and at times any feeling whatsoever from the students that I see weekly. How can you sing of God's great love and mercy and then turn to your neighbor and talk? Don't we know that singing words to God that we don't mean in our hearts is taking the Lord's name in vain (It made the TOP 10 list people!). How do we as adults who love and care for those younger around us help them to see the importance of having a relationship with Jesus. Not just so they can be saved from the fiery pits of hell (when they are actually being saved from the wrath of God, not hell), but so that can live a life full of abundance! How do I teach students about the life of following Christ that is life to the fullest when so many Christians live a life that is not at all to the fullest that God desires from them. God's desires our bigger than ours, always. I pray that God can continue to teach me this difficult lesson and allow me to share it in a way that is accepted with others.
Why do I see so many Christians living defeated lives? Do we not serve the God who conquered the grave? Scriptures tell us that as Christians we are given the Holy Spirit (which is the seal of our salvation) and that we can do the impossible. We can do miracles because we have God living inside of us! Is that not amazing? (I hope that somewhat excites you, because it makes me overjoyed).
And yet even I am guilty of feeling exactly the way so many of us live, defeated. When I feel that way, the most important thing for me to do is to look at my life. Am I spending time with my Saviour? Am I listening to what he has to say? Am I praying for continued growth?
I desire to be broken over the sin in my life. I yearn to get rid of all the junk so that I can have more of Christ. I long to know my saviour and Lord more intimately every day. And in my opinion this is what is wrong with "Christians". The life lived has no substance. We are happy not sharing Christ with those around us. How can I tell the students I work with the need to share Jesus with their friends and those they're around if I myself am not doing it.
Lately, a burden that has been placed on my heart is the lack of conviction, remorse and at times any feeling whatsoever from the students that I see weekly. How can you sing of God's great love and mercy and then turn to your neighbor and talk? Don't we know that singing words to God that we don't mean in our hearts is taking the Lord's name in vain (It made the TOP 10 list people!). How do we as adults who love and care for those younger around us help them to see the importance of having a relationship with Jesus. Not just so they can be saved from the fiery pits of hell (when they are actually being saved from the wrath of God, not hell), but so that can live a life full of abundance! How do I teach students about the life of following Christ that is life to the fullest when so many Christians live a life that is not at all to the fullest that God desires from them. God's desires our bigger than ours, always. I pray that God can continue to teach me this difficult lesson and allow me to share it in a way that is accepted with others.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Blending two families to three?
I want to tread lightly when I write about our families, as not to hurt anyone's feelings. Lately Mike and I have been discussing our families (immediately in particular) in detail. I think one of the hardest parts of marriage is blending and becoming someone else's family, making a new family.
For those of you who know me very well, you probably know that my brother is one of my best friends and confidant, he always lets me vent about things that are going on and then gives me the "keep your head up", "go get 'em" or even the "it's time to get over it" pep talks. My mother and I talk 2 to 3 times a week, but keep up with each other, and email back and forth from our desks if we have stuff going on during the day. With that being said, my family has/is learning boundaries and attempting to let Mike and I create our own family. I think they are doing a pretty good job at it although they have struggled with it in the past. My dad and I talk, but are not super close and have not been since 2004. However, I still love him dearly and enjoy the rare times we are able to spend time together (the last of which was my wedding in July 2007). It is simply difficult to have a great relationship with someone who I have only seen four times since the fall of 2004. Wow! I didn't realize quite how long it has been, but we're coming up on three years. I wish that we had a closer relationship, but without going into all the messy details, we have things in the past that make it difficult for us to closeness. Also we only talk every two weeks or so via phone (except for the fact that he has now learned to text and sends me daily "Good morning" texts @ 10 my time). I have a big extended family that I don't always get to see frequently but enjoy greatly. My Nanny is my only grandparent still alive, so I love to get to spend time with her. I have a close relationship with a few of my aunts and cousin.
I say all of this to break down what I come from. Michael comes from a very different family, (but still good). His parents are still married, he has a younger brother & sister who are twins (I'm actually only 5 months older than them). His mom's mom has Alzheimer's and is now in an assisted living home and his Dad's mother lives in Yukon's own Spanish Cove. His mom is an only child, so no extra family there (weird for me) and his dad's family is not very close. Although much of the family lives in the Oklahoma City metro they only see each other around big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas and the occasional summer holiday like the 4th of July or Labor Day). I often long to go visit my family in Antlers because I want to see my extended family, my Nanny, Kathy, Kristi, Kayden, Maci, etc. (Side note: I often see my mom and my brother once every month or two even if I don't go to Antlers).
I go through all of this to say, our families are vastly different. We are having to learn the quirks of one another's family. For me, one thing that was weird to me (and still at times is) is the way Michael's family is when someone comes over (I should insert here that my bro-in-laws friends are OFTEN at my in-laws) everyone goes into the living room, everyone talks and visits, dinners are eaten at the kitchen table together, where after we're done we sit and talk and then sometimes continue to talk, but simply move the visiting to the living room. Mike's family does not do that. It still kinda weirds me out, because as you can "see" I am a talker.
However, I am trying to learn to accept them for who they are, to be patient even when I feel people do not deserve it, to be loving, kind and most of all: to realize that I cannot make Michael's family my own, they will not do the things that I always desire, that is not their way. Nonetheless, Michael and I have the ability to make our new (third) family into the one that we desire. I do not expect it to be easy (although I wish it was) and the truth is, there may have to be times where I just disagree and keep my mouth shut.
For those of you who know me very well, you probably know that my brother is one of my best friends and confidant, he always lets me vent about things that are going on and then gives me the "keep your head up", "go get 'em" or even the "it's time to get over it" pep talks. My mother and I talk 2 to 3 times a week, but keep up with each other, and email back and forth from our desks if we have stuff going on during the day. With that being said, my family has/is learning boundaries and attempting to let Mike and I create our own family. I think they are doing a pretty good job at it although they have struggled with it in the past. My dad and I talk, but are not super close and have not been since 2004. However, I still love him dearly and enjoy the rare times we are able to spend time together (the last of which was my wedding in July 2007). It is simply difficult to have a great relationship with someone who I have only seen four times since the fall of 2004. Wow! I didn't realize quite how long it has been, but we're coming up on three years. I wish that we had a closer relationship, but without going into all the messy details, we have things in the past that make it difficult for us to closeness. Also we only talk every two weeks or so via phone (except for the fact that he has now learned to text and sends me daily "Good morning" texts @ 10 my time). I have a big extended family that I don't always get to see frequently but enjoy greatly. My Nanny is my only grandparent still alive, so I love to get to spend time with her. I have a close relationship with a few of my aunts and cousin.
I say all of this to break down what I come from. Michael comes from a very different family, (but still good). His parents are still married, he has a younger brother & sister who are twins (I'm actually only 5 months older than them). His mom's mom has Alzheimer's and is now in an assisted living home and his Dad's mother lives in Yukon's own Spanish Cove. His mom is an only child, so no extra family there (weird for me) and his dad's family is not very close. Although much of the family lives in the Oklahoma City metro they only see each other around big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas and the occasional summer holiday like the 4th of July or Labor Day). I often long to go visit my family in Antlers because I want to see my extended family, my Nanny, Kathy, Kristi, Kayden, Maci, etc. (Side note: I often see my mom and my brother once every month or two even if I don't go to Antlers).
I go through all of this to say, our families are vastly different. We are having to learn the quirks of one another's family. For me, one thing that was weird to me (and still at times is) is the way Michael's family is when someone comes over (I should insert here that my bro-in-laws friends are OFTEN at my in-laws) everyone goes into the living room, everyone talks and visits, dinners are eaten at the kitchen table together, where after we're done we sit and talk and then sometimes continue to talk, but simply move the visiting to the living room. Mike's family does not do that. It still kinda weirds me out, because as you can "see" I am a talker.
However, I am trying to learn to accept them for who they are, to be patient even when I feel people do not deserve it, to be loving, kind and most of all: to realize that I cannot make Michael's family my own, they will not do the things that I always desire, that is not their way. Nonetheless, Michael and I have the ability to make our new (third) family into the one that we desire. I do not expect it to be easy (although I wish it was) and the truth is, there may have to be times where I just disagree and keep my mouth shut.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Difficulties of Maintaining Relationships
There have been many things going on recently (discussions, etc) that have put this topic on my mind. Mike and I were talking on our drive back home from seeing my family at Christmas time about the difficulty in retaining friendships and seeking out new friendships. So I will include you in the discussion, plus some additional thoughts (possibly rants) of my own.
Don't you remember when it was easy to hang out with people: no real job, not a lot of money and the need for sleep was much smaller, lol. As I have moved away from my college town I have seen the difficulty in maintaining relationships. Well, to be honest, I actually began to struggle with this before I graduated, due to the fact that Mike and I were married and not living in Shawnee. Some single friends don't like to hang around married people (perhaps that isn't you, but I have definitely seen it). When hanging out with couples all four people have to get along (sounds easy to do, but its surprising how difficult it can be) and I consider myself one to get along with just about anybody. Then there is the time/schedule issue, everyone is always so busy.
So here is what it actually comes down to: working at the relationship, I have learned that it takes work to make our marriage work. In the same way, it takes work to make a friendship continue when it is not overly convenient. After all, isn't it easiest to only be friends with people we work with and go to church with? What about everyone else? So I want to be a better friend. I will attempt to stay connected and will pursue time with my friends. I pledge to be more flexible. I will pray over my friends and those friendships with the desire for God to bless those relationships I am able to have. Lastly, I will seek out relationships. It is so easy in our world to get stuck where we are and not invite over people we don't know, I will pray that God shows me someone who needs a friend and that I will follow his lead.
Don't you remember when it was easy to hang out with people: no real job, not a lot of money and the need for sleep was much smaller, lol. As I have moved away from my college town I have seen the difficulty in maintaining relationships. Well, to be honest, I actually began to struggle with this before I graduated, due to the fact that Mike and I were married and not living in Shawnee. Some single friends don't like to hang around married people (perhaps that isn't you, but I have definitely seen it). When hanging out with couples all four people have to get along (sounds easy to do, but its surprising how difficult it can be) and I consider myself one to get along with just about anybody. Then there is the time/schedule issue, everyone is always so busy.
So here is what it actually comes down to: working at the relationship, I have learned that it takes work to make our marriage work. In the same way, it takes work to make a friendship continue when it is not overly convenient. After all, isn't it easiest to only be friends with people we work with and go to church with? What about everyone else? So I want to be a better friend. I will attempt to stay connected and will pursue time with my friends. I pledge to be more flexible. I will pray over my friends and those friendships with the desire for God to bless those relationships I am able to have. Lastly, I will seek out relationships. It is so easy in our world to get stuck where we are and not invite over people we don't know, I will pray that God shows me someone who needs a friend and that I will follow his lead.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Roll Tide
What a National Championship game! Now I must say, I am in no way shape or form a fan of the way the BCS puts together the big game (in what other sport do undefeated teams have absolutely no chance to even attempt for the title) but last night was a game that proved itself worthy of a National Championship.
I went into the game cheering for Bama (for many assorted reasons). Although I was thoroughly disappointed when Colt McCoy got hurt as a wanted the game to be as competitive as possible (although I was relieved to not have to hear how Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley grew up as friends, are now roommates and have a very close bond, blah!) Then steps-in true freshman Garrett Gilbert. Now it really irritated me that the announces continued to call Gilbert "the freshman" as if he had no name until after halftime when it became clear that Colt would not be coming back. I felt bad for Gilbert and I can't help but wanna cheer for the underdog, so cheer I did. I know that many Texas fans will say that had Colt McCoy been in it would have been a different game, perhaps, but he wasn't and it wasn't. But I would argue that the greater problem was not McCoy being injured but the offense giving up after McCoy was injured. They were not running their routes at full speed, there were multiple dropped passes that hit people in the hands. Even the shovel pass right before half-time was not a mistake by Gilbert, but the kid who bobbled the ball. However, once Gilbert was able to complete a pass you saw a little spark ignite in the Horns. Suddenly they begin to believe they could win (having Colt McCoy cheering them on again didn't hurt either).
However, there is a that Crimson Tide had the Heisman winner on their team, because Mark Ingram is amazing. Anyone that has over 1000 yards rushing after contact. McElroy is now 30-0 when starting. Even with Colt McCoy being injured the University of Alabama still (at least in my opinion) was the better team, at least last night.
I went into the game cheering for Bama (for many assorted reasons). Although I was thoroughly disappointed when Colt McCoy got hurt as a wanted the game to be as competitive as possible (although I was relieved to not have to hear how Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley grew up as friends, are now roommates and have a very close bond, blah!) Then steps-in true freshman Garrett Gilbert. Now it really irritated me that the announces continued to call Gilbert "the freshman" as if he had no name until after halftime when it became clear that Colt would not be coming back. I felt bad for Gilbert and I can't help but wanna cheer for the underdog, so cheer I did. I know that many Texas fans will say that had Colt McCoy been in it would have been a different game, perhaps, but he wasn't and it wasn't. But I would argue that the greater problem was not McCoy being injured but the offense giving up after McCoy was injured. They were not running their routes at full speed, there were multiple dropped passes that hit people in the hands. Even the shovel pass right before half-time was not a mistake by Gilbert, but the kid who bobbled the ball. However, once Gilbert was able to complete a pass you saw a little spark ignite in the Horns. Suddenly they begin to believe they could win (having Colt McCoy cheering them on again didn't hurt either).
However, there is a that Crimson Tide had the Heisman winner on their team, because Mark Ingram is amazing. Anyone that has over 1000 yards rushing after contact. McElroy is now 30-0 when starting. Even with Colt McCoy being injured the University of Alabama still (at least in my opinion) was the better team, at least last night.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Generation X
So yesterday I was a bit hard on the parents, but now I believe it is time that Generation X has a come to Jesus meeting. I look around and here is what I see rampant in my generation and the ones close to me (I was born in March of 1987 btw): a lack of concern, respect and at times no idea how to blend being and adult and yet still a young person.
I realize that I myself grew up in some ways before some people who are my age (I married @ 20) and there are others that have children before we were out of high school. Nonetheless, you are still my generation and what I have to say to you is this, it is time to be who you need to be. I am so sick of hearing stories of young people living with their mom and dad not helping around the house consistently (whether that be financially or within the family) and with no plans of leaving anytime soon. Do not hear what I'm not saying, I'm not saying that in extreme circumstances people shouldn't help out their children, I'm not saying that its a bad idea t olive at home in order to save a little cash for a bit. I am saying your a bum if you're (a) not working or going to school (b) are doing one of the above but do not help in any other way.
It is time to gain some responsibility. I too enjoy to have fun, I love to be spontaneous and in this terribly cold weather right now I would like for nothing more than to book 2 tickets to the Caribbeans and go enjoy some sand and warm weather. However, in order to do that I would have to let other responsibilities go, and some things must come before fun such as our mortgage, grocery bill, electricity, gas, and even my Internet bill for school. I recently met a young women only a year younger than me with a five year old and a baby, the children have different fathers. As we were talking about money and things to spend on, she asked why we did not replace the Hubby's Acura (97') which is now getting older and doesn't look like its in its prime any longer. I tried to explain that the car worked, was in good condition for the most part, that it was paid off... In essence all of the practical reasons why we are waiting to replace this car. She began to talk about how she spent her paycheck (she has 2 kids mind you) and suddenly she says that she spent her entire paycheck right before Christmas on her?!? I was appalled, she bought herself new shoes, clothes, etc (she placed a heavy emphasis on EXPENSIVE name brands, such as $100 tshirts). Well how do you get your kids things I asked (foolish, I know) her response, the government and her mother. My taxes pay for her kids to eat and her mom pays for everything else.
Do not hear what I'm not saying, I think that welfare/food stamps are a good thing. I believe there are people that really need them, what I don't understand is why my generation is okay living off of our parents and the rest of the working class. It's time to grow up. We as a generation need to realize that soon our grandparents and parents are not going to be around forever to run the world, they cannot take care of us, nor do they need that burden.
And if you are living at home then use the time wisely, get an education, save for a down payment on a home. Be wise in all areas of your life....
Signing off
I realize that I myself grew up in some ways before some people who are my age (I married @ 20) and there are others that have children before we were out of high school. Nonetheless, you are still my generation and what I have to say to you is this, it is time to be who you need to be. I am so sick of hearing stories of young people living with their mom and dad not helping around the house consistently (whether that be financially or within the family) and with no plans of leaving anytime soon. Do not hear what I'm not saying, I'm not saying that in extreme circumstances people shouldn't help out their children, I'm not saying that its a bad idea t olive at home in order to save a little cash for a bit. I am saying your a bum if you're (a) not working or going to school (b) are doing one of the above but do not help in any other way.
It is time to gain some responsibility. I too enjoy to have fun, I love to be spontaneous and in this terribly cold weather right now I would like for nothing more than to book 2 tickets to the Caribbeans and go enjoy some sand and warm weather. However, in order to do that I would have to let other responsibilities go, and some things must come before fun such as our mortgage, grocery bill, electricity, gas, and even my Internet bill for school. I recently met a young women only a year younger than me with a five year old and a baby, the children have different fathers. As we were talking about money and things to spend on, she asked why we did not replace the Hubby's Acura (97') which is now getting older and doesn't look like its in its prime any longer. I tried to explain that the car worked, was in good condition for the most part, that it was paid off... In essence all of the practical reasons why we are waiting to replace this car. She began to talk about how she spent her paycheck (she has 2 kids mind you) and suddenly she says that she spent her entire paycheck right before Christmas on her?!? I was appalled, she bought herself new shoes, clothes, etc (she placed a heavy emphasis on EXPENSIVE name brands, such as $100 tshirts). Well how do you get your kids things I asked (foolish, I know) her response, the government and her mother. My taxes pay for her kids to eat and her mom pays for everything else.
Do not hear what I'm not saying, I think that welfare/food stamps are a good thing. I believe there are people that really need them, what I don't understand is why my generation is okay living off of our parents and the rest of the working class. It's time to grow up. We as a generation need to realize that soon our grandparents and parents are not going to be around forever to run the world, they cannot take care of us, nor do they need that burden.
And if you are living at home then use the time wisely, get an education, save for a down payment on a home. Be wise in all areas of your life....
Signing off
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