Washed by the Water

Washed by the Water is a wonderful song that was suggested to me by my dear friend Kelli months ago when things were rather rough for Mike & I.  I have been wanting to share this with others, but for months, anytime I heard the song, I would bawl like a baby get slightly emotional.  So here's the link to a the video for this song that was so impactful to me.  Sometimes we are affected by the bad decisions that others make, and there are times where others are going to say things that are not true.  But one thing we knew was that even when the storms come, I am still washed by the water and I am still called to love. And that's the hardest lesson to ever learn, and while I went through that class extensively, I don't know that I still have it down pat, but I know that no matter what He who washed all my sins away, will continue to provide. And He has... Glory to Him!
Need to Breathe, "Washed by the Water"

New Church, New House... and hopefully a New Home

So I've haven't posted on blogger in so long because I have a big mouth and can't keep a secret er... I've been so busy!  Mike and I are no longer at CCY!  We had been praying for quite some time about whether or not that was were God wanted us.  While we were seeing kids come to know the Lord and grow deeper in their faith, it was not necessarily a healthy place for our family.  And God has worked his magic and taken us to a wonderful place where there is no doubt we have been called to serve....

So Mike is now the new youth/singles pastor at Village Baptist Church!  Everyone has been so super sweet to us since our first visit (people were amazingly nice before they even knew who we were!).  It is truly a blessing from God.  So there's the new church part.  As for the new home part, we'll be renting our home out and living in a parsonage close to the church... and its bigger : ) and it has the most wonderfully amazing backyard with two trees that will be spectacular for hanging a hammock

As for as the new home part... Mike and I are so excited to not only be serving at Village, but to be able to make it a home for our family.  As much as I love ALL of our students at CCY and many of the families we got to know, CCY was never home.  Unfortunately, it felt like a place that I served, sometimes a 2nd job, lol, but I never got that home feeling.  This could be due to the fact that we never got the opportunity to participate in many of the over-all church functions.  Regardless it wasn't and that was a really big deal to me, and in taking this new job, I definitely stressed the importance of being able to plug-in not just in the youth ministry, but in the church as a whole. And so far we've gotten to do that a little bit.  We attended our first SS class together in nearly 3 years (and it was awesome!); I've already been to a women's ministry event, and tonight Mike & I were invited to the Adult 2 get together! Yes! They have an Adult 2 class! There are people our age! So needless to say I'm pretty stinkin' pumped.

For those of you who have been praying for Mike & I for so long, I just want you to know how much we appreciate all of your prayers and support.  Please keep them coming, as we know God has big things in store for VBC, the Village and the surrounding area.

Change, Change, Change

I am so excited for all the new opportunities God has in store for Mike & I! There is so much going on in our lives... but I can't spread the good news on blogger just yet... But I can talk about some of the emotions I'm struggling with through the transitions in our life.

God has a reason for everything. I truly believe that. It is not always easy to believe, but I know it must be true.  With that being said, we have definitely gone through the ringer the past 2 years.  For me, I have had some major changes that take much adapting to, moving to a new town farther away from my college friends, Mike's first full time youth ministry job, graduating from OBU, starting my first big kid job, and having to try to balance all the relationships in between.

Relationships change as people change, and their lives around them change.  There has been one relationship for me that has been very difficult to watch the change.  Mainly, because I desire it to be a closer relationship and that's not the case.  There are people that we feel we have shared our lives with, who know (or at least knew) our hearts and the fact that they are less interested in fostering a friendship is very difficult.  It's not from lack of me trying, there was a time where I was messaging this said friend on a weekly basis for about four months trying to get together.  Once it finally happened, but was more because I insisted.  I know that lives are busy, I totally get that.  I'm working on my masters, I'm working full time and I'm volunteering at the church about 10 hrs or so a week.  Believe me I understand busy, the kind of busy that makes you wanna sit and cry some days because you don't know how you can do it all.  And yet I still make time for my friends, and so does this old friend of mine.  The time being made just doesn't happen to be for me.  And that does hurt.  I being avoided, I get that. I don't get why, although I am suspect to think its due to the fact that there is a big life event coming up that I have not been asked to be actively involved in (I'm trying to be vague here, forgive me) and she doesn't know how to deal with that.  I'm okay w/ not having a large place in your event.  I don't need a title.  I'm not about people looking at me.  That's not who I am. I am about relationships.  And that is a relationship that I do miss.  I don't care if I'm the go to person, I don't care if we can't share everything, but wouldn't it be nice to share something?  I have mourned the relationship that used to be... It will not be that way again, too much has changed, too much has happened, life took place and we missed it! that's how life is sometimes, that doesn't mean that we still can't continue to be friends on some level, or does it?  My hubs tends to tell me how some of my friends are shallow and self-centered.  I used to think he was just a pessimist, but now I understand.  He's not saying that what we shared was not friendship and was not real.  But he is saying that maybe they're not healthy for me.  He's saying that it's time I accept them as who they are now, and maybe that is flaky.

But what about me what do I say?

I say life happens, and will continue to happen.  God understands changing times and schedules and I know that he will no doubt continue to place newer friendships in my life that are healthy. Where I can be me, and they can be them.  He has already blessed me greatly, the Lord has given me a wonderful best friend, a woman who allows me to vent, complain and cry.  She often serves as a Barnabas and as well as the one who will help me to see if from someone else's point of view rather than my own.  Five years ago had you asked me if this person would be my bestie, I would have had no clue who they were!  But after four years of knowing her and her family, who have in fact become an extension of the family Mike & I have created together, I know that the Lord knows exactly what I need in life.  And He is the supplier of all things great. And while some things look different and may have been difficult to walk through. I know I have been blessed with a great and wonderful life, exactly as God has always had planned!

Weekend!

I love Fridays and yet some days I hate them too... I love Fridays because I know the weekend is coming up. On Friday nights you can stay up as late as you want, you don't have to worry about working the next morning (most of the time anyway). Fridays are often the time when Hubs and I get to relax together (often with friends) and just de-stress from the crazy week we've had and then we wake up to the best day of the week Saturday! Now I know what some of you are thinking you're a pastor's wife (and yes I know that he's a youth pastor which according to some of you is different than a "real" pastor, but believe me my Hubs is a real as a pastor as they get!) so shouldn't Sunday be your favorite day. And in some ways it is, we get to spend time with our students (we teach the High School Sunday School class together), then worship together (although most of the time us worshipping together consists of Hubs preaching/teaching and me soaking up the amazing knowledge the Lord has shared with him), then its on to a crazy short afternoon break (that's what I call it) and four (ish) hours later we're back at the church!
(that's our church BTW) So that's where we spend the majority of our Sunday.

But Saturday, Saturday is often our Sabbath (yes I realize the Sabbath is actually Saturday), but I know for many Christians they treat Sunday as their Sabbath, but for me its Saturday. Saturdays are my day of rest. Since we spend a good part of Sunday teaching others, I try to use Saturday to truly rest. I try to spend a little bit of me time, mixed w/ some time w/ the Hubs, maybe a little time with friends and voila. I feel rejuvenated (yes I'm an ESFJ and you can see my extroversion as I get jazzed by being around others).

So what's up for this weekend? I'm so glad you were wondering, now I can share. As for today I will finish out my work day (I'm at lunch right now, thank you very much!) and then home to change clothes, get the Hubs, grab the chicken & veggies that have been marinating since last night and head to the Bestie's for kabobs & fried rice and some good 'ol relaxation! Saturday I will hopefully get the time (and motivation) to clean my house up some and then dinner with the home care group @ our church that has adopted Mike & I since we aren't able to participate in one due to us teaching. Sunday=church, which I do enjoy by the way....

So pics from this weekend and the recipe for the kabobs (if they turn out to be good) will all be posted soon!

Have a wonderful weekend all!

Patience

Oh the Lord loves to teach me patience, and in the end I love learning more about patience, but stometimes (like the present moment) I'm not so good with patience. I began to ponder this and wonder if in some way sthis is a generational problem. After all, I am so connected... I spend enough time at my computer (at work mainly), but I nearly always have my Blackberry on, and it's hard to find me w/o my Ipod. Sometimes we just need to pull back from all thats going on around us though.

This morning on my commute I realized about 15 minutes into my drive that the radio wasn't on. I had been sitting in silence thinking about things that were going on in life, praying when I suddenly thought, "Wow! It's really quite in hear. Oh wait, my radio's off". Today I decided to leave off the radio. I want to hear God's voice loudly in my life. But as I began to analyze sometimes there is so much chatter around us it is hard to hear God's voice and we need time to stop and to listen to that still Small voice. Oh what a joy it is to hear from the Lord! I am so thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit in my life!

To end I'll tell you a little story from Sunday....
I was being impatient (as usual), but Sunday morning we had a youth service that was mainly song and then communion by ourselves at a time we decided (with offering done the same way) blended with scripture. I was singing my heart out to God (which means I was having a great time those around me might not have loved my pitch-iness (?) but whatever when I just felt the Lord direct me to Romans 5
"Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into his grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy spirit, whom he has given us"

God is using every situation in my life to develop my Godly character. He is teaching me perseverance and perhaps most comforting he always promises me hope and "hope does not disappoint".

God bless!

I've been a blogging slacker, yes I realize that. However, part of my slacking is due to the inability to express all that is going on right now. Wow! So much! And I'm not always the best at describing the emotions, and sometimes when I am I don't believe that these emotions should necessarily be put on the Internet for all to read. I have started following some bloggers who have this gift to describe everything and yet even with my ability to say so much. Not everything is always appropriate, but sometimes I wish I had that ability. So with all that being said!

March was a crazy busy month... It is by far one of my favorite months! There are like a bajillion birthdays of my friends&family in March (including my own) as well as spring break (which I didn't really get to participate in due to my new big kid job, boo!) and the first day of spring! The first day of spring disappointed me by snowing 6 inches, but other than that it was good. March also got to see the writing and turning in of my Research Methods paper, which I felt like I might not survive, but I did and as long as I passed, I don't really care. I loved my topic, and enjoyed reading about it, but HATED putting the paper together. Thus, you can all rest assured I will never be a research psychologist.

Our church (CCY) has hired a new senior pastor, although we are unsure of when he will actually come. We are praying that he has wonderful things in store for the church body and brings about a refreshing view of ministry.

On a totally separate note: Mike & I have been trying to eat healthier in an attempt to be healthier and loose some weight. Some of you may remember us doing our "poor man's weight watchers" and both lost a considerable amount of weight. Unfortunately, camp and various other things we stopped that and gained all of the extra weight back (and maybe a little more). While I enjoy being more conscious of what I putting into my body, neither of us have experienced the huge drop in weight like we had before. There are multiple reasons I'd like to get in better shape: weddings, beach vaca in Sept, wanting to eventually have a baby and be a cute pregnant lady (okay so I'm a little shallow at times, give me a brake, no one wants to be the person that people wonder are they pregnant or just getting fat). So I'm planning on really buckling down in order to get the results I want and today.... Today I WILL start working out. I think I'm typing this in hopes to have some invisible blog accountability. But I believe I can get in shape, and that I'll be a better person for it, I just need some motivation. So hopefully this will help.

Changing topics once again: I ask that you be praying for Mike & I. So maybe there's only 3 of you out there, but still. The Lord has been stirring our hearts and we are trying to decipher what exactly it is he wants us to do. Our desire has always been to follow God in whatever it is he wants us to do. So I know that this paragraph could not be more vague, but information will come in due time.

I am Rendy

Recently, I have been having these huge issues with people not getting my name correctly. For one people don't read, so they make themselves look silly. My name does not have an A in it, therefore it is not Randy, despite the fact that you think it seems to make more sense. My name is in fact Rendy, and while in the past I have debated using my middle name so that people would stop butchering my "yes it is on my birth certificate", and "yeah my mom really named me that" and "its really not that great of a story how I got my name" name. But I am Rendy. The name is part of my identity, it seems to embody part of my spirit somehow. Now, for some of you that seems weird, but when you have a name like mine, it takes a different feeling to it.

Last night, while in my Research Methods class I had a revelation of insight into my own life. Now, my professor, Dr. Limke, would probably be slightly surprised to hear that, as she is not a clinician as she reminds us frequently and last night she even shared her difficulty with empathy through a story. Nonetheless, a random in class assignment spurred me to have an aha (sp) moments of sorts.

My personal vent about my name for the last month has not been about my name, but about me, as a person. Okay so now you're confused, but let me explain it to you. I tend to think of myself in roles: the student, the Preventionist, the Youth minister's wife, daughter, sister, etc. Of course it often feels like the hardest of these is the youth minister's wife. And then it hit me last night, I love being the youth minister's wife (I love my husband dearly, and feel called to him and believe in his calling to ministry, in which I feel called to serve along side him). The part that I don't love is when other people forget to see me as Rendy first and the youth minister's wife second. I am a person, I too have my own job (in which I work 40 hrs/week as one of my 7th grade girls discovered last weekend, I do not get paid for the time I put in at the church, none of our volunteers do. Nonetheless, they often see me every time they see Mike (except @ school lunches) so it was quite surprising to her that I just spend time with them in my spare time). I have a personality (one that I would call quirky); I have opinions, large ones in fact even if you don't hear them it doesn't mean they are not there, simply that I realize I should not always share them; I have family; I have burdens, emotions and feelings. In short... I AM A PERSON. I am Rendy. And sometimes, just sometimes I get lost in other peoples idea of who I am.

I love all of the roles that I fill (although I will be excited for May 2011 when I can cross student off the list). But apart from the roles I just want to be me. I want people to see me for who I am: the good, the bad and the ugly. I want people to know that sometimes my humor can be off-color, that I love to laugh and when I find something really funny I laugh REALLY loud and sometimes start to squeak b/c I can't get enough air. I want people to see me, not the roles that I fill. See beyond the titles and ideas, see the person. I am Rendy.

Summit Camps

Summit Camps has made a lasting impression on my life. As an early teenager I truly experienced God and the love he has for me for the first time at Summit Camps in the summer of 2000. It was that summer, on August 1, 2000 that I have my life to Jesus Christ. While I am well aware that God can move in multiple places, He used Summit to not only introduce me to my Savior, but also as a place I was later discipled.

Starting the summer between my sophomore and junior year of High School I began to staff for Summit Camps. It was there that I learned much more about serving others and God's heart for his people. During the hottest southeastern OK sun, I realized that pointing others to the Son was more important to me. And that it was not always a glamorous thing: there's not much praise to be seen for the person who fills up the water jugs, but it's something that needs to be done in order to serve my brothers and sisters in Christ.

It was also at Summit Camps where I met some of my most influential mentors, who have become friends of mine now that I have entered into adulthood. These people have guided me, loved me, given me advice when I would not or could not speak to my own family. I was comforted and encouraged in the hard times. They have celebrated my marriage to a wonderful man of God with me, they have taught me lessons that only those who have walked with God for years often know. They have prayed over me, encouraged me as I try to minister to hurting world of students, and have been so unsure of how to do. These are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Summit Camps is celebrating its 20 year this summer! I am so thankful for my opportunity to be involved in such a wonderful place for the 8 years. Now, as a Summit Camps Director I have been allowed to grow, stumble and watch the Lord move in amazing ways from an adult perspective at Summit.

If you have made it this far in my blog I want to ask you to do a few things.
1. Pray for Summit Camps: pray for our mission to bring students to a relationship with Christ and to see His will for their life revealed to them.
2.Pray for our new camp grounds that we are attempting to build. The Lord has given us a wonderful vision of the great things he would like Summit to continue to do through Him.
3.If Summit Camp has touched you in some way whether as an adult or a student attending any of our multiple events (summer camp, Fall retreat, marriage conferences, the Called Conference, etc) please let us at Summit Camps know, we would love to share your story with others. (http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PG=Contact&RecordType=&pkg=)
4. Pray about giving to our mission to bring students, families and individuals to know Christ.

For more information on Summit Camps go to www.summitcamps.com
To read our purpose go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=35640
To read our vision statement go to http://www.summitcamps.com/templates/blankwh/details.asp?id=20970&PID=45372

Am I Washed by the Blood or Just Washed in the Water?

I don't understand why I see so many "Christians" living lives that do not show the honor, power and glory of Jesus Christ. I put Christians in quotations because I would say that there are many people who profess Jesus as Savior but he is not their Lord. They do not have a personal relationship with him. As a new Kenny Chesney song puts it, "Am I washed in the blood or just washed in the water". This is the only conclusion that makes any sense whatsoever to me.

Why do I see so many Christians living defeated lives? Do we not serve the God who conquered the grave? Scriptures tell us that as Christians we are given the Holy Spirit (which is the seal of our salvation) and that we can do the impossible. We can do miracles because we have God living inside of us! Is that not amazing? (I hope that somewhat excites you, because it makes me overjoyed).

And yet even I am guilty of feeling exactly the way so many of us live, defeated. When I feel that way, the most important thing for me to do is to look at my life. Am I spending time with my Saviour? Am I listening to what he has to say? Am I praying for continued growth?

I desire to be broken over the sin in my life. I yearn to get rid of all the junk so that I can have more of Christ. I long to know my saviour and Lord more intimately every day. And in my opinion this is what is wrong with "Christians". The life lived has no substance. We are happy not sharing Christ with those around us. How can I tell the students I work with the need to share Jesus with their friends and those they're around if I myself am not doing it.

Lately, a burden that has been placed on my heart is the lack of conviction, remorse and at times any feeling whatsoever from the students that I see weekly. How can you sing of God's great love and mercy and then turn to your neighbor and talk? Don't we know that singing words to God that we don't mean in our hearts is taking the Lord's name in vain (It made the TOP 10 list people!). How do we as adults who love and care for those younger around us help them to see the importance of having a relationship with Jesus. Not just so they can be saved from the fiery pits of hell (when they are actually being saved from the wrath of God, not hell), but so that can live a life full of abundance! How do I teach students about the life of following Christ that is life to the fullest when so many Christians live a life that is not at all to the fullest that God desires from them. God's desires our bigger than ours, always. I pray that God can continue to teach me this difficult lesson and allow me to share it in a way that is accepted with others.

Blending two families to three?

I want to tread lightly when I write about our families, as not to hurt anyone's feelings. Lately Mike and I have been discussing our families (immediately in particular) in detail. I think one of the hardest parts of marriage is blending and becoming someone else's family, making a new family.

For those of you who know me very well, you probably know that my brother is one of my best friends and confidant, he always lets me vent about things that are going on and then gives me the "keep your head up", "go get 'em" or even the "it's time to get over it" pep talks. My mother and I talk 2 to 3 times a week, but keep up with each other, and email back and forth from our desks if we have stuff going on during the day. With that being said, my family has/is learning boundaries and attempting to let Mike and I create our own family. I think they are doing a pretty good job at it although they have struggled with it in the past. My dad and I talk, but are not super close and have not been since 2004. However, I still love him dearly and enjoy the rare times we are able to spend time together (the last of which was my wedding in July 2007). It is simply difficult to have a great relationship with someone who I have only seen four times since the fall of 2004. Wow! I didn't realize quite how long it has been, but we're coming up on three years. I wish that we had a closer relationship, but without going into all the messy details, we have things in the past that make it difficult for us to closeness. Also we only talk every two weeks or so via phone (except for the fact that he has now learned to text and sends me daily "Good morning" texts @ 10 my time). I have a big extended family that I don't always get to see frequently but enjoy greatly. My Nanny is my only grandparent still alive, so I love to get to spend time with her. I have a close relationship with a few of my aunts and cousin.

I say all of this to break down what I come from. Michael comes from a very different family, (but still good). His parents are still married, he has a younger brother & sister who are twins (I'm actually only 5 months older than them). His mom's mom has Alzheimer's and is now in an assisted living home and his Dad's mother lives in Yukon's own Spanish Cove. His mom is an only child, so no extra family there (weird for me) and his dad's family is not very close. Although much of the family lives in the Oklahoma City metro they only see each other around big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas and the occasional summer holiday like the 4th of July or Labor Day). I often long to go visit my family in Antlers because I want to see my extended family, my Nanny, Kathy, Kristi, Kayden, Maci, etc. (Side note: I often see my mom and my brother once every month or two even if I don't go to Antlers).

I go through all of this to say, our families are vastly different. We are having to learn the quirks of one another's family. For me, one thing that was weird to me (and still at times is) is the way Michael's family is when someone comes over (I should insert here that my bro-in-laws friends are OFTEN at my in-laws) everyone goes into the living room, everyone talks and visits, dinners are eaten at the kitchen table together, where after we're done we sit and talk and then sometimes continue to talk, but simply move the visiting to the living room. Mike's family does not do that. It still kinda weirds me out, because as you can "see" I am a talker.

However, I am trying to learn to accept them for who they are, to be patient even when I feel people do not deserve it, to be loving, kind and most of all: to realize that I cannot make Michael's family my own, they will not do the things that I always desire, that is not their way. Nonetheless, Michael and I have the ability to make our new (third) family into the one that we desire. I do not expect it to be easy (although I wish it was) and the truth is, there may have to be times where I just disagree and keep my mouth shut.

The Difficulties of Maintaining Relationships

There have been many things going on recently (discussions, etc) that have put this topic on my mind. Mike and I were talking on our drive back home from seeing my family at Christmas time about the difficulty in retaining friendships and seeking out new friendships. So I will include you in the discussion, plus some additional thoughts (possibly rants) of my own.

Don't you remember when it was easy to hang out with people: no real job, not a lot of money and the need for sleep was much smaller, lol. As I have moved away from my college town I have seen the difficulty in maintaining relationships. Well, to be honest, I actually began to struggle with this before I graduated, due to the fact that Mike and I were married and not living in Shawnee. Some single friends don't like to hang around married people (perhaps that isn't you, but I have definitely seen it). When hanging out with couples all four people have to get along (sounds easy to do, but its surprising how difficult it can be) and I consider myself one to get along with just about anybody. Then there is the time/schedule issue, everyone is always so busy.

So here is what it actually comes down to: working at the relationship, I have learned that it takes work to make our marriage work. In the same way, it takes work to make a friendship continue when it is not overly convenient. After all, isn't it easiest to only be friends with people we work with and go to church with? What about everyone else? So I want to be a better friend. I will attempt to stay connected and will pursue time with my friends. I pledge to be more flexible. I will pray over my friends and those friendships with the desire for God to bless those relationships I am able to have. Lastly, I will seek out relationships. It is so easy in our world to get stuck where we are and not invite over people we don't know, I will pray that God shows me someone who needs a friend and that I will follow his lead.

Roll Tide

What a National Championship game! Now I must say, I am in no way shape or form a fan of the way the BCS puts together the big game (in what other sport do undefeated teams have absolutely no chance to even attempt for the title) but last night was a game that proved itself worthy of a National Championship.

I went into the game cheering for Bama (for many assorted reasons). Although I was thoroughly disappointed when Colt McCoy got hurt as a wanted the game to be as competitive as possible (although I was relieved to not have to hear how Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley grew up as friends, are now roommates and have a very close bond, blah!) Then steps-in true freshman Garrett Gilbert. Now it really irritated me that the announces continued to call Gilbert "the freshman" as if he had no name until after halftime when it became clear that Colt would not be coming back. I felt bad for Gilbert and I can't help but wanna cheer for the underdog, so cheer I did. I know that many Texas fans will say that had Colt McCoy been in it would have been a different game, perhaps, but he wasn't and it wasn't. But I would argue that the greater problem was not McCoy being injured but the offense giving up after McCoy was injured. They were not running their routes at full speed, there were multiple dropped passes that hit people in the hands. Even the shovel pass right before half-time was not a mistake by Gilbert, but the kid who bobbled the ball. However, once Gilbert was able to complete a pass you saw a little spark ignite in the Horns. Suddenly they begin to believe they could win (having Colt McCoy cheering them on again didn't hurt either).

However, there is a that Crimson Tide had the Heisman winner on their team, because Mark Ingram is amazing. Anyone that has over 1000 yards rushing after contact. McElroy is now 30-0 when starting. Even with Colt McCoy being injured the University of Alabama still (at least in my opinion) was the better team, at least last night.

Generation X

So yesterday I was a bit hard on the parents, but now I believe it is time that Generation X has a come to Jesus meeting. I look around and here is what I see rampant in my generation and the ones close to me (I was born in March of 1987 btw): a lack of concern, respect and at times no idea how to blend being and adult and yet still a young person.

I realize that I myself grew up in some ways before some people who are my age (I married @ 20) and there are others that have children before we were out of high school. Nonetheless, you are still my generation and what I have to say to you is this, it is time to be who you need to be. I am so sick of hearing stories of young people living with their mom and dad not helping around the house consistently (whether that be financially or within the family) and with no plans of leaving anytime soon. Do not hear what I'm not saying, I'm not saying that in extreme circumstances people shouldn't help out their children, I'm not saying that its a bad idea t olive at home in order to save a little cash for a bit. I am saying your a bum if you're (a) not working or going to school (b) are doing one of the above but do not help in any other way.

It is time to gain some responsibility. I too enjoy to have fun, I love to be spontaneous and in this terribly cold weather right now I would like for nothing more than to book 2 tickets to the Caribbeans and go enjoy some sand and warm weather. However, in order to do that I would have to let other responsibilities go, and some things must come before fun such as our mortgage, grocery bill, electricity, gas, and even my Internet bill for school. I recently met a young women only a year younger than me with a five year old and a baby, the children have different fathers. As we were talking about money and things to spend on, she asked why we did not replace the Hubby's Acura (97') which is now getting older and doesn't look like its in its prime any longer. I tried to explain that the car worked, was in good condition for the most part, that it was paid off... In essence all of the practical reasons why we are waiting to replace this car. She began to talk about how she spent her paycheck (she has 2 kids mind you) and suddenly she says that she spent her entire paycheck right before Christmas on her?!? I was appalled, she bought herself new shoes, clothes, etc (she placed a heavy emphasis on EXPENSIVE name brands, such as $100 tshirts). Well how do you get your kids things I asked (foolish, I know) her response, the government and her mother. My taxes pay for her kids to eat and her mom pays for everything else.

Do not hear what I'm not saying, I think that welfare/food stamps are a good thing. I believe there are people that really need them, what I don't understand is why my generation is okay living off of our parents and the rest of the working class. It's time to grow up. We as a generation need to realize that soon our grandparents and parents are not going to be around forever to run the world, they cannot take care of us, nor do they need that burden.

And if you are living at home then use the time wisely, get an education, save for a down payment on a home. Be wise in all areas of your life....

Signing off

Parents

I have decided to start blogging not necessarily about the day to day happenings in my life (updates), but more in ways of opinions, local news, media, football, politics, church and whatever else may inspire me to jump upon a soapbox.

I recently had a discussion about a co-worker about students (children) who act inappropriately and how they should be handled. I am around kids pretty frequently from my job and my volunteer work through my church where my husband is the youth pastor. And sadly parents the problem is not the children, the problem is you. There its been said, go ahead and get mad, nonetheless it is still the truth.

You as parents have decided that it is more important to be your child's friend, to gain some buddy buddy rapport with them instead of being the adult in charge of them. From a scriptural basis you are charged with the duty to make sure that your child is making good decisions. Yes, I realize you cannot know where your child is every second of every day, and that to never give them any room to make mistakes is to ultimately set them up to go out of control with the first ounce of freedom they receive.

But it is your right to set consequences and to hold to them. Even if that means your child misses out on a big party or event, their choices, their consequences. I believe that the reason many parents do not like to punish their children for doing something wrong has much more to do with the parent than with the child. If you are to be sure that your child is where they said they were going to be then that takes time from your schedule you have to take time out of your schedule to check on them. And to be quite frank that is just too much work for many of the parents I encounter today. I know you're saying, that's not me and yet those of you who have children that drive and you take away their keys for a week as punishment, it is quickly evident that you too must suffer through your child's punishment.

It is not some teacher's job in a school system to make sure that your child is keeping their grades up, its yours. It is not some pastor or community volunteer's job to ensure that your child is staying away from drugs and is not sexually active. It's yours!

Parents it is time that you begin to take responsibility for the things you have done and hold yourself accountable. And you know what, if your parents sucked, that doesn't give you an excuse to be a sucky parent too. In fact, you should know the value and the need of strong parenting.